Sunday, July 8, 2012

local gannett newspaper to present online community variety hour


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in one last desperate move to boost sagging online readership, relate to  readers (and reacting to specific orders from gannett headquarters), the news jounal will be premiering a twice-weekly online program next friday during the dinner hour, with the webcast to  be displayed on the entire north central ohio network(nnco).

'hit the ding ding' is a last attempt to relate to more of the community.  the fast paced high budget show will feature the ultrapopular community relations editor, ms. holly fackler and  managing editor david kennard, replete with a new corporate inspired tan and large  gannett corporate logo prominent on a forearm, hosting a quiz program  modelled after univision's sabado gigante, and the even more stale  ohio lottery weekly show.

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one segment will feature 6 first grade students asking math questions of city, county, and area school treasurers and financial advisors.

'can you' will have 6 audience members from halfway houses and homeless shelters competing during the one hour program to collect the most aluminum cans and unsold newspapers within the downtown area for free online subscriptions. 

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'suck my toes' will feature local democrats and republicans sucking the toes of members of the opposite party. 'maybe if they suck up to each other, we will have more community harmony,' ms. harmon said. 'none of those pervs are going to be near my pedicure, and that includes david.

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david kennard is keenly anticipating   filming 'out and about with the kennards', f eaturing family activities at area recreation sites.
ultra popular 'shuga lou'  whitmire will interview  area locals trending on facebook, linked in, and twitter.
veteran news reporter, mark caudill, will reprise his humorous role, in costume, of his popular fundamentalist area folk hero and advice columnist , mrs. elaine fox.

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'weather for the heels', will feature aspiring diminutive news journal reporter, disney personality, and product spokesperson,  jami kinton, giving a preview of the week's weather, dressed only in a 'tasteful' collection of  feathers and furs, with fashionably mismatched color coordinated   stiletto heels, faux chains, and whips donated by  anonymous news journal staffers and local elected officials.

. ms. fackler, according to anonymous news journal sources, has refused to do a  tapdance routine, but,  has insisted on creating  a baking show with wood burning oven in authentic period costumes, 'the ms. dourdough'.

ronald of  simon will wrap up the weekly show with curmudgeonly andy rooneyesque monologues, and the gobles, will sir appear in 'in the manner of the bickersons', with their hilarious and moving  conversations about their lives in rural shelby, ohio, reminiscent of the 30's classic radio show, "the bickersons.", starring don ameche and frances langford.
Gannett owned tv station, cleveland WKYC-TV is assisting with production of the series.

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